Coming Out of the Intuitive Closet

Little Girl Hiding

There are two camps in the business world: those who believe you should do what you love and those who believe you should do what you know. Choosing one of these perspectives and even attempting to straddle a middle ground between them was one the reasons why I delayed myself for so long in getting my blog and business going. But there was also another reason. Deep down, I was afraid of showing the world the real me – what I really believed in. As a result, I ended up subconsciously sabotaging myself due to that fear.

From childhood all through college I wanted to be a psychologist, so this personal development interest of mine is pretty much ingrained into my soul. Along the road I’ve sprinkled in bits of new age-y metaphysical pieces. And just this year, I finally converted fully over to the woo-woo side and gave my whole heart and soul. I guess you could somewhat equate it to what happens when some people find God. There’s just been an awakening in me and I feel so inspired to be, do and have more in my life.

I didn’t act on any of it before because I was afraid of being judged. To be completely honest, I’m still afraid. Yet even alongside that fear I also intuitively know that I’m on the right path. So I’m pushing through the fear. And you know what? Sometimes I have these moments of absolute excitement and assuredness about things to come and I feel like I could lead the whole world if I needed to. Some people would probably call this clarity. These are the kinds of things that happen when you follow your soul path.

Now, in honor of finally making a commitment to join the professional spiritual community and get my blog and business going, I’d like to share a little of my story on how I got to this point in my life.

It pretty much all started with my mom.

From a young age, probably 7 or 8, my mom used to talk to me about metaphysical stuff. She highlighted passages in books for me to read, like The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. We created treasure maps with the guidance of the lovely Shakti Gawain and her classic work Creative Visualization. And we talked all the time about how everything starts with just a thought. I went to metaphysical shops with her and picked out my own quartz crystals. And I learned how to put some of the theories that I was learning to practice through little manifestations here and there.

As I grew older and moved toward adulthood though, things began to shift. I became disillusioned and bogged down with “real life.” I lost my childlike spirit and confidence that I was in charge of my own reality. High school and college and part-time jobs and boyfriends all competed for my attention and I literally lost my way. I lost some of my light. And then in 2006, I lost my mom to cancer. My world pretty much turned upside-down.

My life continued to cycle through ups and downs as I got married, had five beautiful kids, and experienced periods of both extreme joy and devastating financial and emotional hardships. Then one hot summer day in 2007, my sister-in-law purchased a copy of The Secret for my husband and he read it from cover to cover. Then I read it from cover to cover. And suddenly the light switch clicked back on and I became me again. I remembered that in order to live this life that I so desperately wanted to live, I had to completely immerse myself in this world. I had to learn the laws and theories inside and out; become a student again and read every day if that’s what it took to make this stuff sink into my head so I’d never forget it again. So I did just that and my life began to gradually improve as I brushed up on my old teachings and discovered brand new ones.

The real turning point for me was an October in 2011 when I was writing in my journal. Through a series of synchronistic events related to the late Carl Jung, it suddenly occured to me that putting synchronicity together with the law of attraction was the missing link that I was searching for. After that, I began to study more about synchronicity, which eventually led me to read up on signs and intuition.

Things have just pretty much continued to gently snowball from there. I feel like I’m a hawk, circling above, honing in on the kill. I’m in the right vicinity with a bird’s eye view of things and if I just keep circling, I’ll find my target. And you want to know the craziest part? I don’t even feel the urge to see where I’m going. I’m perfectly content just taking things one step at a time.

Part of it is in truly believing that I’m meant to do this work. And part of it is me just maintaining a focus on what I want. It’s like Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich: You have to have “desire backed by faith.”

Yes, I think I’m finally there.

Thank you so much for being here with me. There will be big things to come for both of us if you stick with me!

image credit: Celeste RC

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  1. Sarah says

    Hi Nicole, this really resonated with me! I’m not fully out of the closet yet though and still have moments of doubting myself. I too wanted to be a psychologist but life got in the way! It was only after having my kids that I began to start back on my journey. I look forward to your future posts!

    Wishing you all the very best!


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